Summer is winding down here in Hayward, Minnesota. It is dry here, and the mornings are cool. The corn has grown so high and the beans are thick. I spend a lot of my afternoons helping my mother prepare veggies for canning or soaking up the last of the summer sun. My younger brother and sister have both left for college, leaving me home alone with my parents. What a wonderful summer it has been!
This summer has been full of so many changes. My brother and sister and law had their first baby, precious little Isaiah. What a delightful change that was! About 2 months ago, those three moved to Yakima, WA where my brother was offered a job as an assistant pastor--BIG CHANGE! And...I know Yakima is in for some BIG changes through the work of the Holy Spririt through Calvary Chapel, the awesome ministry my brother gets to work with.
In addition to Isaiah, another little treasure was added to our family: A puppy!! While he is certainly not quite as exciting as a little baby, this little nut has certainly caused change on the farm. I am now a lot more careful with leaving my belongings outside after one of my favorite books was torn to pieces and strewn thoughout the yard and my phone now bears nice teeth marks in it....ohh silly puppy.
My youngest brother just headed off to his first year of college...what a change that will be for my parents! They now have an empty nest! I am so excited for Caleb and am so proud of him.
My personal life has also been full of exciting, but also a little nervewracking changes. While most of my friends are buying binders, text books, and pencils or moving into their new apartments and getting cute furniture, or getting engaged or married, I am left buying a moquito proof tent, getting medication for malaria, and figuring out how in the world to pack for a 4 month trip. I am so excited that the Lord has called me and has led me to this trip to Kenya. Some days I get so anxious to go that it is all that I can think about. Just grasping the fact that the Lord chose me to show His love to His people in Kenya is so exciting. But, it is also scary. Some days I hate this change and wish I could just stay here...go to college for another year...stay on the farm. Sometimes the thought of this big change scares me.
You see, I know how to be a student. I am really good at it. I love my schedules, my planner, my timeframes. I like knowing what my role is in class, in ministry, in my family. I love knowing that I have friends right next door who care for me deeply and who know me well. But, now this is all changing. I am no longer a college student. I am no longer going to be in River Falls. God has called me back to Africa, where schedules dont seem to exist, where I really still have no clue what we will be doing, and where things are a lot different.
BUT>>>> it is SO comforting to know that I serve a God who does not change. I serve a God whose promises are the same as they were thousands of years ago. The Lord promised that He would never leave or forsake me. The Lord has got my back. He is leading me, working in me.
So, I will embrace all these changes...the exciting ones as well as the scary ones. And I know that the Lord will be faithful to continue to lead me through them.
Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like the shifting shadows-James 1:17
Monday, August 22, 2011
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Speak For Me
I was driving a few days ago with my Ipod on shuffel, and this song "Speak for Me" by Jaci Velasquez started playing. I had not listened to the song for years, but as I listened to the lyrics, the Lord really used them to speak truth into my life and encourage me. Please take a moment to read these powerful lyrics...
What have I to offer to a world in need?
Yet, for some unknown reason, you have chosen me.
Lord, you’ve set my journey, you’ve prepared the way.
Still, I’m desperate for the words to say, and
all I am is willing; all I have is in your hands.
As I have been praying and thinking about Kenya, the Lord continues to remind me that we can do nothing of eternal value apart from Him. I need to completely rely on Him in everything I do, whether it is sharing the gospel, loving on people, or even going throughout my day-ineverything I do. Sometimes lies penetrate my life and tell me that I don't have anything to offer this world...this broken sinful world full of poverty and illness and false religions and saddness.... but those lies are so untrue! We DO have so much to offer! Because we have the Holy Spirit. The word of God is alive and active!! God has given us the Holy Spirit, who will speak through us, who will guide us, who will use each one of us according to His purpose!! What an awesome, humbling truth that is! I will be praying that the Lord will be instilling boldness and firmness in each one of us, not only for when we travel to Kenya, but for our whole lives.
What have I to offer to a world in need?
Yet, for some unknown reason, you have chosen me.
Lord, you’ve set my journey, you’ve prepared the way.
Still, I’m desperate for the words to say, and
all I am is willing; all I have is in your hands.
Speak for me; this my plea.
Say the words I can’t express.
Sing for me a heavenly melody
That the people will be blessed.
Speak for me.
Say the words I can’t express.
Sing for me a heavenly melody
That the people will be blessed.
Speak for me.
Every brief encounter that you send my way
Is a chance to show the love you gave me.
I see their troubled faces, a hunger deep inside
But I depend on you to touch their lives.
Light what burns within me, let
your truth shine through my life.
Is a chance to show the love you gave me.
I see their troubled faces, a hunger deep inside
But I depend on you to touch their lives.
Light what burns within me, let
your truth shine through my life.
Speak for me; this my plea.
Say the words I can’t express.
Sing for me a heavenly melody
That the people will be blessed.
Speak for me.
Say the words I can’t express.
Sing for me a heavenly melody
That the people will be blessed.
Speak for me.
Sing for me, set me free,
They will see your holiness.
Speak for me.
cause your love will lead them on to heaven’s gate
Where they can look upon your face.
Light what burns within me, let
your truth shine through my life.
They will see your holiness.
Speak for me.
cause your love will lead them on to heaven’s gate
Where they can look upon your face.
Light what burns within me, let
your truth shine through my life.
Sing for me, set me free,
And they will see your holiness.
Speak for me, sing for me, speak for me. You’re all I have to offer to a world in need.
And they will see your holiness.
Speak for me, sing for me, speak for me. You’re all I have to offer to a world in need.
As I have been praying and thinking about Kenya, the Lord continues to remind me that we can do nothing of eternal value apart from Him. I need to completely rely on Him in everything I do, whether it is sharing the gospel, loving on people, or even going throughout my day-ineverything I do. Sometimes lies penetrate my life and tell me that I don't have anything to offer this world...this broken sinful world full of poverty and illness and false religions and saddness.... but those lies are so untrue! We DO have so much to offer! Because we have the Holy Spirit. The word of God is alive and active!! God has given us the Holy Spirit, who will speak through us, who will guide us, who will use each one of us according to His purpose!! What an awesome, humbling truth that is! I will be praying that the Lord will be instilling boldness and firmness in each one of us, not only for when we travel to Kenya, but for our whole lives.
Thursday, May 12, 2011
Not easily forgotten
"And they devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and prayer. And awe came upon every soul, and many wonders and signs were being done through the apostles. And all who believed were together and had all things in common. And they were selling their possessions and belongings and distributing the proceeds to all, as any had need. And day by day, attending to the temple together and breaking bread in their homes, they received the food with glad and generous hearts, praising God and having favor with all people. And the Lord added to their number day by day those who were being saved." -Acts 2:42-47
God has abundantly blessed me this year by the community here in River Falls. The people He has brought in my life display His love so clearly and so beautifully. They have shown incredible devotion to seeking the Lord and learning from His word. I have had the privilege of learning alongside my brothers and sisters in Christ. We have shared incredible fellowship, and we have broken bread together. The times that we have shared will be cherished in my heart. I have seen such great unity grow within our group. This unity stems from a common heart to serve the Lord and to seek a closer relationship with Him and with each other. It has been such a privileged to praise my heavenly Father alongside such passionate friends who are excited about sharing the gospel with others and expanding Christ's kingdom.
The relationships that I have formed here will be lasting ones. I have been able to cultivate deep friendships that are fulfilling and life giving. I am so incredibly thankful for all of the people that God has brought into my life. They are the kind of people not easily forgotten. They are the kind of people that speak truth and offer grace. They are the kind of people that bless you constantly and love unconditionally. They are the kind of people that I thank the Lord for :)
Sunday, May 8, 2011
God's Will
This semester here at River Falls has been incredible. It has also been
so difficult. And beautiful. And busy. Full of searching. Waiting.
Impatience. Thankfulness. Reminiscing. Wishing. Trusting.
God has been moving here. He has been moving in me. Breaking me down and
building me up. I am a mess, wrecked. So much of my time is spent
worrying...wondering...what is this life of mine really about? Who am I
living for? What is God's will for my life? I am graduating in one week. One week.I search and cry out to God, "What is Your will for my life??!!" Gods will for my life is for me to serve Him, to bring glory to Him in all that I do. He wills me to die to myself, to find my complete identity in Him and Him alone. Gods will for me is to fit somewhere into His vision for His kingdom. He knows exactly where that place is. He wants for me to drop everything and follow Him. Can I do that? Will I do that, no matter where I am sent?
I will follow the Lord. Into the world. Into the homes of the broken, into places where people don't know the joy of experiencing His love. I will follow into dirty, filthy places where no one else wants to go. I want to show His love to the broken, to the hopeless, to the empty, to those who don't even know or understand how much they need Him and His redeeming love. Here I am!! Send Me!! Use me!! Why am I here? Why do I have the great privilege of living in the United States, where I have greater freedom, comfort, wealth..... Why have I been so abundantly blessed?
God has blessed me so that I can be a blessing to others. God has given me things. Not so that I can delight in my possessions here on earth, but so that I can go out an bless others with the things God has given me.
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Incomparable Embrace
I just returned from an amazing night of prayer, worship, and fellowship with hundreds of college students from the Twin Cities Metro area. My heart is bursting with love, joy, questions, excitement, contentment, pleas to the Lord, anticipation...the list could go on and on. The Lords presence was so evident in that place tonight. As I sat next to some of my dearest friends in the world--my amazing sisters and brothers in Christ--I looked around the arena and saw so many faces of people that I did not know, but who I loved anyway. I was blown away by Christ's family. Each person in that room was a daughter or son of the Father. Each one of them was dearly loved. God has called each one of them to a specific purpose and can use them in powerful ways.
As I considered God's family, it gave me such excitement!! Seeing so many believers gathered in one place, worshipping and praying to the Lord gave me a such a strong desire: to add to the gathering. To share God's love with EVERYONE. I closed my eyes and imagined a sea of people as far as the eye could see. People of all ages from every corner of the globe. Each one lifting up the name of Jesus, each one joyful and thankful to be a part of the family of God! I pray that God will use each and every person who was at the gathering tonight to reach out to those around them, to go to where the Lord is sending them, and to share His love, to add to Christ's family.
God loves us richly. He holds us in an incomparable embrace.
How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!- 1 John 3:1
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
The Cry of My Heart
I came across this prayer today and it is truly the cry of my heart:
"May God bless you with discomfort at easy answers, half truths, and superficial relationships so that you may live deep within your hearts.
May God bless you with anger at injustice, oppression & exploitation of people, so that you may work for justice, freedom, & peace.
May God bless you with tears shed for those who suffer pain, rejection, hunger, and war, so that you may reach out your hand to comfort them and turn their pain into joy.
And may God bless you with enough foolishness to believe that you can make a difference in this world.
So that you can do what others claim cannot be done, to bring justice and kindness to all our children and the poor."
AMEN!!! How beautiful is it that although God does not need us, he chooses to use us to do His work. What a wonderful privilege it is to be used by God!
"May God bless you with discomfort at easy answers, half truths, and superficial relationships so that you may live deep within your hearts.
May God bless you with anger at injustice, oppression & exploitation of people, so that you may work for justice, freedom, & peace.
May God bless you with tears shed for those who suffer pain, rejection, hunger, and war, so that you may reach out your hand to comfort them and turn their pain into joy.
And may God bless you with enough foolishness to believe that you can make a difference in this world.
So that you can do what others claim cannot be done, to bring justice and kindness to all our children and the poor."
AMEN!!! How beautiful is it that although God does not need us, he chooses to use us to do His work. What a wonderful privilege it is to be used by God!
Monday, May 2, 2011
Beauty instead of Ashes
I will be a college graduate in two weeks. TWO WEEKS. two weeks. two weeks. TWO WEEKS. tWo WeEkS. TWO WEEKS.
I can hardly believe that this is true. The past four years have flown by. When I look back at them, I see a blur of so many things, so many memories, so many adventures, trials, joys, and accomplishments. I was thinking today about eternal perspective. As I near graduation, I think about what my college experience will mean to me. Obviously, I have learned a great deal about speech, language, and hearing disorders. I have learned to live independently and to take more initiative and lead. But, today I was thinking about the impact that I made for God while I was in college. It may have been small, but even the small things are great to the Lord. I am so praiseful for the work that God has done in and through me.
The Lord keeps leading me back to Isaiah 61. It is a passage that is near and dear to my heart. "The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me, because the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the poor; He has sent me to bind up the broken-hearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor, and the day of vengeance for our God; to comfort all who mourn; to grant to those who mourn in Zion-- to give them a beautiful headdress instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, the garment of praise instead of a faint spirit; that they may be called oaks of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified." v. 1-3
I firmly believe that the Lord has called me back to Africa this September. I am so excited to go back and serve Him and the people there, and yet, I am so scared to go. I am mourning the fact that I will no longer be with the amazing community that I have here at school. I worry about finding a job when I get back, I worry about applying for graduate school. I fear the unknown situations that will occur there. As I was researching the areas we will be going to on the trip, I broke into tears. Seeing the living conditions of the people in the Kibera slums broke my heart. I saw faces that were stricken with desperation. I saw indescribable poverty displayed on the film. I saw the faces of children longing for love. I looked at those pictures, wondering about the impact that I was even going to have when I went there.
And yet...the Lord has Called me to preach the truth about His love and grace to the poor. He has called me to walk in His spirit and show the broken-hearted the comfort and satisfaction that can only come from a relationship with Jesus. He has called me to preach the gospel, even though I often don't know the words to say or the right way to say them. He can use me in powerful ways. God has a calling for you, also. It may not be in Africa. It may not be overseas. God has a plan and a purpose for you no matter where you are or where you have been. His plan for your and my life is so beautiful, so perfect, that we can not even begin to imagine it. Sure, it may be different than what we had planned. If you would have told me 2 years ago that I would be moving to Africa (Lord willing) after I graduated from college, I would have never believed you. But the ways of the Lord are sovereign and perfect and good. It is my prayer that I will see the Lord transform lives to beauty instead of ashes no matter where He has me or you.
I can hardly believe that this is true. The past four years have flown by. When I look back at them, I see a blur of so many things, so many memories, so many adventures, trials, joys, and accomplishments. I was thinking today about eternal perspective. As I near graduation, I think about what my college experience will mean to me. Obviously, I have learned a great deal about speech, language, and hearing disorders. I have learned to live independently and to take more initiative and lead. But, today I was thinking about the impact that I made for God while I was in college. It may have been small, but even the small things are great to the Lord. I am so praiseful for the work that God has done in and through me.
The Lord keeps leading me back to Isaiah 61. It is a passage that is near and dear to my heart. "The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me, because the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the poor; He has sent me to bind up the broken-hearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor, and the day of vengeance for our God; to comfort all who mourn; to grant to those who mourn in Zion-- to give them a beautiful headdress instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, the garment of praise instead of a faint spirit; that they may be called oaks of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified." v. 1-3
I firmly believe that the Lord has called me back to Africa this September. I am so excited to go back and serve Him and the people there, and yet, I am so scared to go. I am mourning the fact that I will no longer be with the amazing community that I have here at school. I worry about finding a job when I get back, I worry about applying for graduate school. I fear the unknown situations that will occur there. As I was researching the areas we will be going to on the trip, I broke into tears. Seeing the living conditions of the people in the Kibera slums broke my heart. I saw faces that were stricken with desperation. I saw indescribable poverty displayed on the film. I saw the faces of children longing for love. I looked at those pictures, wondering about the impact that I was even going to have when I went there.
And yet...the Lord has Called me to preach the truth about His love and grace to the poor. He has called me to walk in His spirit and show the broken-hearted the comfort and satisfaction that can only come from a relationship with Jesus. He has called me to preach the gospel, even though I often don't know the words to say or the right way to say them. He can use me in powerful ways. God has a calling for you, also. It may not be in Africa. It may not be overseas. God has a plan and a purpose for you no matter where you are or where you have been. His plan for your and my life is so beautiful, so perfect, that we can not even begin to imagine it. Sure, it may be different than what we had planned. If you would have told me 2 years ago that I would be moving to Africa (Lord willing) after I graduated from college, I would have never believed you. But the ways of the Lord are sovereign and perfect and good. It is my prayer that I will see the Lord transform lives to beauty instead of ashes no matter where He has me or you.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)