Speak For Me

I was driving a few days ago with my Ipod on shuffel, and this song "Speak for Me" by Jaci Velasquez started playing.  I had not listened to the song for years, but as I listened to the lyrics, the Lord really used them to speak truth into my life and encourage me.  Please take a moment to read these powerful lyrics...
What have I to offer to a world in need?
Yet, for some unknown reason, you have chosen me.
Lord, you’ve set my journey, you’ve prepared the way.
Still, I’m desperate for the words to say, and
all I am is willing; all I have is in your hands.

Speak for me; this my plea.
Say the words I can’t express.
Sing for me a heavenly melody
That the people will be blessed.
Speak for me.

Every brief encounter that you send my way
Is a chance to show the love you gave me.
I see their troubled faces, a hunger deep inside
But I depend on you to touch their lives.
Light what burns within me, let
your truth shine through my life.

Speak for me; this my plea.
Say the words I can’t express.
Sing for me a heavenly melody
That the people will be blessed.
Speak for me.

Sing for me, set me free,
They will see your holiness.
Speak for me.
cause your love will lead them on to heaven’s gate
Where they can look upon your face.
Light what burns within me, let
your truth shine through my life.

Sing for me, set me free,
And they will see your holiness.
Speak for me, sing for me, speak for me. You’re all I have to offer to a world in need.

As I have been praying and thinking about Kenya, the Lord continues to remind me that we can do nothing of eternal value apart from Him.  I need to completely rely on Him in  everything I do, whether it is sharing the gospel, loving on people, or even going throughout my day-ineverything I do.  Sometimes lies penetrate my life and tell me that I don't have anything to offer this world...this broken sinful world full of poverty and illness and false religions and saddness.... but those lies are so untrue! We DO have so much to offer! Because we have the Holy Spirit. The word of God is alive and active!!  God has given us the Holy Spirit, who will speak through us, who will guide us, who will use each one of us according to His purpose!!  What an awesome, humbling truth that is!  I will be praying that the Lord will be instilling boldness and firmness in each one of us, not only for when we travel to Kenya, but for our whole lives.   

Not easily forgotten

"And they devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and prayer.  And awe came upon every soul, and many wonders and signs were being done through the apostles.  And all who believed were together and had all things in common.  And they were selling their possessions and belongings and distributing the proceeds to all, as any had need.  And day by day, attending to the temple together and breaking bread in their homes, they received the food with glad and generous hearts, praising God and having favor with all people.  And the Lord added to their number day by day those who were being saved." -Acts 2:42-47

God has abundantly blessed me this year by the community here in River Falls.  The people He has brought in my life display His love so clearly and so beautifully.  They have shown incredible devotion to seeking the Lord and learning from His word. I have had the privilege of learning alongside my brothers and sisters in Christ.  We have shared incredible fellowship, and we have broken bread together.  The times that we have shared will be cherished in my heart. I have seen such great unity grow within our group.  This unity stems from a common heart to serve the Lord and to seek a closer relationship with Him and with each other.  It has been such a privileged to praise my heavenly Father alongside such passionate friends who are excited about sharing the gospel with others and expanding Christ's kingdom.

The relationships that I have formed here will be lasting ones.  I have been able to cultivate deep friendships that are fulfilling and life giving.  I am so incredibly thankful for all of the people that God has brought into my life.  They are the kind of people not easily forgotten.  They are the kind of people that speak truth and offer grace.  They are the kind of people that bless you constantly and love unconditionally.  They are the kind of people that I thank the Lord for :)

God's Will

This semester here at River Falls has been incredible.  It has also been
so difficult. And beautiful. And busy. Full of searching. Waiting.
Impatience. Thankfulness. Reminiscing. Wishing. Trusting.

God has been moving here. He has been moving in me. Breaking me down and
building me up.  I am a mess, wrecked. So much of my time is spent
worrying...wondering...what is this life of mine really about? Who am I
living for? What is God's will for my life?  I am graduating in one week. One week.

I search and cry out to God, "What is Your will for my life??!!"

Gods will for my life is for me to serve Him, to bring glory to Him in all
that I do.  He wills me to die to myself, to find my complete identity in Him and Him
alone.  Gods will for me is to fit somewhere into His vision for His
kingdom. He knows exactly where that place is. He wants for me to drop
everything and follow Him. Can I do that? Will I do that, no matter where I am sent?

I will follow the Lord. Into the world. Into the homes of the broken,
into places where people don't know the joy of experiencing His love.
 I will follow into dirty, filthy places where no one else wants to go.  I want to show
His love to the broken, to the hopeless, to the empty, to those who don't
even know or understand how much they need Him and His redeeming love.
Here I am!! Send Me!! Use me!!

Why am I here? Why do I have the great privilege of living in the United
States, where I have greater freedom, comfort, wealth.....  Why have I been so abundantly blessed?

God has blessed me so that I can be a blessing to others.  God
has given me things. Not so that I can delight in my possessions here on
earth, but so that I can go out an bless others with the things God has
given me.

Incomparable Embrace

I just returned from an amazing night of prayer, worship, and fellowship with hundreds of college students from the Twin Cities Metro area. My heart is bursting with love, joy, questions, excitement, contentment, pleas to the Lord, anticipation...the list could go on and on.  The Lords presence was so evident in that place tonight.  As I sat next to some of my dearest friends in the world--my amazing sisters and brothers in Christ--I looked around the arena and saw so many faces of people that I did not know, but who I loved anyway.  I was blown away by Christ's family. Each person in that room was a daughter or son of the Father.  Each one of them was dearly loved.  God has called each one of them to a specific purpose and can use them in powerful ways.  

As I considered God's family, it gave me such excitement!! Seeing so many believers gathered in one place, worshipping and praying to the Lord gave me a such a strong desire: to add to the gathering.  To share God's love with EVERYONE.  I closed my eyes and imagined a sea of people as far as the eye could see.  People of all ages from every corner of the globe.  Each one lifting up the name of Jesus, each one joyful and thankful to be a part of the family of God!  I pray that God will use each and every person who was at the gathering tonight to reach out to those around them, to go to where the Lord is sending them, and to share His love, to add to Christ's family.

God loves us richly.  He holds us in an incomparable embrace. 

How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!- 1 John 3:1

The Cry of My Heart

I came across this prayer today and it is truly the cry of my heart:


"May God bless you with discomfort at easy answers, half truths, and superficial relationships so that you may live deep within your hearts.

May God bless you with anger at injustice, oppression & exploitation of people, so that you may work for justice, freedom, & peace.

May God bless you with tears shed for those who suffer pain, rejection, hunger, and war, so that you may reach out your hand to comfort them and turn their pain into joy.

And may God bless you with enough foolishness to believe that you can make a difference in this world.

So that you can do what others claim cannot be done, to bring justice and kindness to all our children and the poor."


AMEN!!! How beautiful is it that although God does not need us,  he chooses to use us to do His work.  What a wonderful privilege it is to be used by God!

Beauty instead of Ashes

I will be a college graduate in two weeks. TWO WEEKS. two weeks. two weeks. TWO WEEKS. tWo WeEkS. TWO WEEKS.
I can hardly believe that this is true.  The past four years have flown by.  When I look back at them, I see a blur of so many things, so many memories, so many adventures, trials, joys, and accomplishments.  I was thinking today about eternal perspective. As I near graduation, I think about what my college experience will mean to me.  Obviously, I have learned a great deal about speech, language, and hearing disorders.  I have learned to live independently and to take more initiative and lead.  But, today I was thinking about the impact that I made for God while I was in college. It may have been small, but even the small things are great to the Lord. I am so praiseful for the work that God has done in and through me.
       The Lord keeps leading me back to Isaiah 61.  It is a passage that is near and dear to my heart. "The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me, because the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the poor; He has sent me to bind up the broken-hearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor, and the day of vengeance for our God; to comfort all who mourn; to grant to those who mourn in Zion-- to give them a beautiful headdress instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, the garment of praise instead of a faint spirit; that they may be called oaks of righteousness, the planting of the Lord, that He may be glorified." v. 1-3
I firmly believe that the Lord has called me back to Africa this September. I am so excited to go back and serve Him and the people there, and yet,  I am so scared to go.  I am mourning the fact that I will no longer be with the amazing community that I have here at school.  I worry about finding a job when I get back, I worry about applying for graduate school.  I fear the unknown situations that will occur there. As I was researching the areas we will be going to on the trip, I broke into tears.  Seeing the living conditions of the people in the Kibera slums broke my heart.  I saw faces that were stricken with desperation.  I saw indescribable poverty displayed on the film.  I saw the faces of children longing for love. I looked at those pictures, wondering about the impact that I was even going to have when I went there.
And yet...the Lord has Called me to preach the truth about His love and grace to the poor.  He has called me to walk in His spirit and show the broken-hearted the comfort and satisfaction that can only come from a relationship with Jesus.  He has called me to preach the gospel, even though I often don't know the words to say or the right way to say them.  He can use me in powerful ways.  God has a calling for you, also.  It may not be in Africa.  It may not be overseas.  God has a plan and a purpose for you no matter where you are or where you have been.  His plan for your and my life is so beautiful, so perfect, that we can not even begin to imagine it.  Sure, it may be different than what we had planned.  If you would have told me 2 years ago that I would be moving to Africa (Lord willing) after I graduated from college, I would have never believed you.  But the ways of the Lord are sovereign and perfect and good. It is my prayer that I will see the Lord transform lives to beauty instead of ashes no matter where He has me or you.

Green Leaves

Jeremiah 17:7-8: "Blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose CONFIDENCE is in Him.  They will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream.  It does not fear when the heat comes; its leaves are always green.  It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit."


When I consider my life, where I have been, where I have gone, and what I have done, I see several seasons.  There have been seasons of growth; incredible growth that has brought me closer to my Savior, my Redeemer, my Friend.  There have been seasons of rejuvenation, where I have felt new and knew that there was transformation in my heart and in my life. I saw God work in and through me so clearly in those times. Throughout my short time here on Earth, I have felt lost in seasons of incredible drought.  In those times I was left searching, seeking, and often feeling helpless and alone.  There have been seasons of scorching heat, when everything felt overwhelming, where I felt as if my life was going in slow motion and I was just sitting in the background, looking at life unfold ahead of my eyes. 


When I think about my life as a daughter of the most High God seeking to grow closer to Him each day, it is easy to look at Jeremiah 17:7-8 and say, "sure! I will have no worries when the droughts come.  I will continue to bear fruit and be a cheerful follower of Christ when suffering comes.  I will have complete confidence in the Lord and will look to Him and not wither and fade."  However, often in times of drought or sadness or stress... I cease to bear fruit.  The green leaves of my life wither.  They turn crispy and brown.  They crinkle and begin to blow in the wind. They fall away from the Tree of Life.  


God has been teaching to have full CONFIDENCE in Him.  To trust Him in seasons of drought.  It is a hard lesson to learn.  And it does not come quickly.  Daily I have to ask for forgiveness for not trusting God and not having CONFIDENCE in His truth. As God continues to lead me throughout life, He is the one that gives me life.  He is the one that satisfies, that fills, that rejuvenates.  Through the Holy Spirit, I can bear fruit in every season of my life.  


As God continues to lead me through life, whether it be here on campus, at home, or in Africa next fall, I hope to have green leaves; leaves that will never wither and turn brown and fall away from their source of Life; leaves that will bear fruit because they are nurtured and loved by the God of the universe; leaves that will bring the love of Christ to others.


"Fruit trees of all kinds will grow on the banks of the river.  Their leaves will not wither, nor will their fruit fail.  Every month they will bear, because the water from the sanctuary flows to them.  Their fruit will serve for food and their leaves for healing."  
 Exekiel 47:12